“How many of you want a single, steady girlfriend? Just one. Raise your hands…”
And then I held my breath as if I’d just yelled out a cuss word in church. Then – to my amazement – about 90% of the crowd raised their hands. And they raised them EAGERLY. Since that day – over 3 years ago – I’ve been asking guys this question in almost all my seminars, and the results are always the same. Most of the guys learning the skills of pickup are just learning them to find ONE good woman. - Carlos Xuma
So why do guys work to learn how to be a “pickup artist” and learn all these seduction techniques, when what they really want is just to get a girlfriend?
Men have a basic need, and it can be illogical, but it is hard-wired in us.
What is that?
The need to sexually CONQUER.
We want to have the thrill of the victory, overcoming the challenge, and then having our egos boosted with the validation of sexual POWER.
In many ways, there is nothing more addictive to the male mind. This is what makes us, Men.
And there’s also nothing wrong with it, so never feel guilty.
Once you get to where you are no longer so obsessed with getting laid and meeting women, you start to realize that what you really want – what would REALLY satisfy you more than anything else is just to find ONE good catch. Once you’ve stopped begging, you can then start to become the chooser. So you want to know how to be attractive to the woman you desire/get a girlfriend?
Okay, here are my…
Seven IMPORTANT Steps to be attractive to the women you desire: (GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP)
1) Do not set out to find a girlfriend!
If your priority is solely to get your itch scratched (sexually speaking), you are going to find that you will scare off a LOT of people. Your GOAL is not to get a girlfriend, even though you think it is. Your goal is not the END, it is just simply the NEXT STEP in the process. Your goal is to improve your social network – which is like creating a nice strong safety net.
(YES. Improve your social network circle) It lowers your loneliness quotient, and it increases your ability to find a good woman in the long run. A good investigator does not look directly for the criminal. They will look for the indicators and evidence that leads them to their most wanted.
2) Adopt the attitude of the Interviewer…
QUALIFICATION, Qualification, qualification.
It is all about qualification, my friend.
The only way you can maintain a strong and confident attitude out there is to be the chooser – not the chosen. Think about the difference in these two people: The Interviewer and the Interviewee. Between being the guy going in and kissing ass and selling yourself to the company to get a job, and being the guy who chooses from them. If you have ever done the interviewing, you know what it is like. You feel like THE MAN with all the power. It is kind of a thrill rush. Well, the difference in mindset between the guy that goes out trying to get women interested in him and the guy that goes out to see if any women can impress him is like NIGHT and DAY.
3) Become a Social Strategist…
Network the hell out of your life. You need to really sit down and think about who you know, and who they know. And then start getting on their social calendars, one at a time. Here is a technique that works like a champ.
First, just connect with everyone in your network of friends. Get together with them, have a drink or a meal, and just reconnect. Make it a point to develop more of a rapport-connection with them, and then get them to think about you whenever they are holding a party or going to a party.
Say something like:
“Hey, this has been great catching up with you, John. By the way, I am on this kick lately of just going out and socializing, and making sure all my friends have fun.
So if you have any parties or social gatherings, drop me a line if you think it would be fun.”
Give him your email(who does email these days?), give him your cell phone and give him your facebook address.
Better yet, have a card made up with JUST this information on it and your first name. Ba-da-bing.
You are now in his loop of social networking.
From there, you just bust it out to the next level by making friends with people at every gathering you attend.
4) Multiple Streams of Female Connections
This is one of the core strategies of my method, and that is that you cannot afford to rely on any ONE method of meeting women. Mostly because if you fail to get that one method to work for you the way you want it to, you will get blown out of the game, and you are socially dead on the railway track.
AND your attitude will suffer along with your success.
Dating is EXACTLY like owning stocks – you never put all your eggs in ONE basket.
Back when the dot-com bust happened in 2001-2002, all the people who were heavily invested in technology stocks took a serious bath.
Universal rule: Diversify!
Spread your risk over a few good methods and you would not get burned.
Do not go too nuts, because you would not get good at any of them if you do too many, but just pick your top 5 – and then work them out. That is how to get a girlfriend – and FAST. heh.
My top tip picks?
- Speed dating
- Online dating
- Social networking
- Parties and social events
- Daytime Street Approach
Click here to learn how to become an alpha man to be the ladies man today!
5) Know what kind of a woman you really want.
You have to know the exact qualities you are looking for in order to choose a good woman.
There are many traits you need to create a good relationship with her – especially if you want to keep her.
One thing you will see that most pick-up artist ‘so-called’ (I hate the term) DO NOT have is the ability to keep a relationship going. They can pickup a woman in a bar, but if you ask them how to get a girlfriend – one that lasts – they’ll just tell you to go take another class.
I have been in relationships that lasted from 30 minutes to 4 years, so I do know how to keep a good woman around.
First and foremost is to know WHAT you want(VERY IMPORTANT), and sometimes that means…
6) Date ENOUGH women to know what you really want.
A lot of guys do not date enough women to figure out the qualities that they really want. In fact, I rarely met a guy who dated a lot of women, and then said that he still wants the same things in a woman that he wanted when he first started out. After dating a bunch of women, you start to realize that many of the things you THOUGHT you wanted were not as important as you thought in the first place.
And you will be surprise to discover all-new things you really do need.
The big mistake most people (men and women) make is to be in a hurry to get into a relationship because they cannot stand dating.
(YES, it is kinda tiring yet exciting at the same time!)
It is so painful for these guys to be single that they fall into the first relationship that comes along.
And so they never develop that dating skills, they just hope to find someone good before the bad women find them first.
But this is a lot like taking the first job you can get, just to get a job – even though you are not sure you are going to like it.
Sure, you may be employed, but you will just be miserable if you do not make a good choice.
And eventually you will either be fired or quit the job.
The same is DOUBLY true for women.
Choose poorly and you are going to be a hell of a lot more miserable IN a relationship than out of one.
Remember this universal rule:
You are better off alone than with the wrong woman.
A woman has only one role in your life: To make you happier than you were without her.
If she is not doing that, well, is she worth to have as your girlfriend?
Think my friend. Think.
And here is the last tip on how to be attractive to the women you desire (GET A GIRLFRIEND TIP)
If you want to know how to get a girlfriend – without having to resort to mail-order brides, it is simply this:
7) Get out there and meet as many people as you possibly can.
I learned something that has made all the difference between being lonely and being socially prosperous, and that is this:
If you meet a bunch of people… some you will never see again.
Some you will turn into acquaintances.
Some you will turn them into friends
Some you will do business with.
Some you will turn into your girlfriends.
But the more people you meet, the more you get of every kind.
Science. Maths. Whatever you call it.
It is a statistical and social CERTAINTY.
It just like the “Sales Funnel,” where you put a hundred people in at the top, and only a few come out the bottom as buyers
So it is in your social life.
It is the most obvious law of numbers there is, and it simply demands that you just get off your ass right now and go meet some new people.
The amazing thing here is that- it does not matter HOW you meet them!
Nor does it matter WHO you meet.
You can meet old women who will set you up with their daughters or even their grand-daughters.(Heh. Serious.)
You will meet women who introduce you to their cool guy friends, who will then introduce you to an ex-girlfriend or a cousin or a sister’s best friends’ nanny, who could be your next girlfriend.
You simply DO NOT KNOW how you will get your next girlfriend.
If you want to know my advice on how to get a girlfriend, that’s it.
Pure and simple.
Treat it like a life-puzzle that you have to figure out.
If you can just meet a few people each week, your life will be filled with an abundance that will ASTONISH you.
It will amaze you.
I guarantee it…